Charlie Sheen Dancing In The Dark

CHARLIE SHEEN FIRED BY WARNER BROTHERS! I could not believe the headline. Who in their right mind would screw up a chance to earn another forty million dollars? Obviously, Sheen is not right in the head. Here is a guy from a famous family who appears to have everything in life yet seems intent on self-destruction. The former baseball player from Santa Monica High is the highest paid actor on television thanks to the #1 comedy Two and a Half Men. Sheen’s recent stint in rehab put filming on hold, now his fellow actors and crew are missing paychecks. He's been all over the internet and Twitter lately but for all the wrong reasons.

After getting kicked out of high school, Sheen went straight to making movies in 1984 and seems to have forgotten how fortunate he is to be a star in Hollywood. His troubles remind me of a quote from one of his Two and a Half Men associates:

"If you don't love the struggle, you have to get out of the business. Sometimes it seems like rolling a boulder uphill, but until you can love the boulder-rolling, you're gonna be disappointed."

Maybe that’s the problem with Sheen. He didn’t have to start at the bottom. He never had a boulder to roll. As for myself, I’ve been writing since high school and I’ve never stopped to ask why I keep writing! Its certainly not for the money. That quote helped me realize I keep at it because I love the boulder-rolling! I am a writer at heart but an office assistant by trade. For the last few years I've been working part-time in the afternoons and writing in the mornings. Except when I've been logging on to eBay to sell some of my rock and roll goodies. It's a simple way to pay the bills so I can keep on writing. Why? Because I love the boulder-rolling.

It wasn't always this way. I had a great gig in the music biz until the bottom fell out in 2001. For myself and thousands of others. Come to think of it, lots of things changed that year. Losing my dream job was a blow but I saw it as a sign to finally give writing a chance. The part-time shift was a good idea for awhile but after that my lifestyle caught up with me. I once had connections for Lakers tickets and backstage passes to the biggest concerts in town. After 2001 it was a struggle just to pay my grocery bill. I clipped coupons and ate every meal at home to save money.
I’m still living on hope and hot dogs, and begging the cable company to let me slide a bit so I can watch the Lakers on TV. I go to the beach almost every day because it's cheaper than going to the neighborhood pub. Not able to afford a health club membership I spend my weekends riding the South Bay bike path for exercise. When I do travel I stay at Super 8s, not super resorts. All because I love the boulder-rolling.

In the past decade I've written four books and a screenplay. I collect the rejection slips and almost look forward to getting them. It's nice to get something in the mail besides a bill. I’ve read countless books about writing. Stephen King once said that a good writer should "read a lot and write a lot." That's good enough for me. I've only read his baseball books but I know he has more money than god. So I read when I’m not writing and write when I’m not reading.

No matter how depressed I get by rejection, I'm always just a bit happier because I'm doing something I love. It reminds me of golfing. Thank goodness my sisters married guys who belong to country clubs or I'd never play at all. Every time I get frustrated on the course something good happens to make me try again. If I shoot over a hundred but make a twenty-foot putt I am overjoyed. If I write a hundred stories and get one published, I'm in heaven.

So imagine how ecstatic I was when I finally met a literary agent and gave him my latest book. The toughest thing for an unknown writer is finding an agent. It’s the famous Catch-22 thing. Publishers won't consider your work without an agent. Agents rarely consider anyone who hasn’t been published! Out of the blue, I met one without even trying.

I’d sold a rare Bruce Springsteen item on eBay and the buyer emailed, saying he lived in Venice Beach. If we met in person he would pay me cash. So I rode my bike over to the Rose Cafe and met up with the guy. We talked about the Boss and his latest music. Then he asked me why I was selling my collector's items. I told him I was a struggling writer and he said "it's your lucky day."

He gave me his card and yes indeed, he was an agent. He told me to send him my latest work and then he drove off in his BMW. I rode back laughing and singing all the way home. I've always believed in the power of rock and roll. Once again it came through for me.

Well, not completely. I sent the guy my book and heard nothing. I emailed him after a week and he said he was busy and hadn't looked at it yet. I sent him another copy with better graphics and formatting. He never returned my call. I’m okay with it because that ride home on my bike was better than the disappointment I would ultimately feel. I was high-fiving homeless people and running red lights and just having the time of my life. In that moment I was a believer. In that moment I was a damn writer! In that moment, I realized that I loved the boulder-rolling.

The quote that started this piece? It’s from Jon Cryer, who is Charlie Sheen’s co-star on Two and a Half Men. It came from an interview Cryer gave before the show became a smash hit. He sounded grateful just to have a job. He had good reason to be. Before Two and a Half Men, Jon Cryer had starred in three sitcoms. All three were canceled after their first season. His current show has been a Top Ten hit for over eight years and in 2009 Cryer won his first Emmy award. Two and a Half Men's future is now in jeopardy. Even if they never tape another episode, Jon Cryer has rolled his boulder to the top of the hill.